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I felt like a sucker. Any compassionate competitor in a friendly match will do their best not to hurt you. But then again …. Lucha libre has appeared in the UK before, where the artistry of the wrestling has been displayed over the pure physicality, but the shows this week will reflect a more balanced approach to the entertainment. In one of my first matches I wrestled a handsome otter who was weaker and less skilled. When you deny yourself your desires, you run the risk of stunting your own growth. As gay men, often estranged by the vulnerability and competitiveness of the locker room, we eroticize strength and male-touch.

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But wrestling matches almost always end with a clear winner and loser.

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10 Things I Learned by Joining a Gay Men’s Wrestling Group

You can go there and enjoy the circus in the ring and you will leave happy. A huge list of stars are scheduled to appear, including the Liberace of Lucha Libre Cassandro, who is one of the few openly gay professional wrestlers. It turns out that I have stamina and strength I never realized — the same is likely true of all of us. And so wrestling gets entangled with domination and submission fantasies all too obvious and complex to lay out here. Lucha libre has appeared in the UK before, where the artistry of the wrestling has been displayed over the pure physicality, but the shows this week will reflect a more balanced approach to the entertainment.

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If someone wins too quickly, the loser can instantaneously ask for a rematch or two, even handicapping the stronger wrestler by choosing their starting position, applying a starting hold or asking them not to use certain limbs or holds. I felt like a sucker. When you deny yourself your desires, you run the risk of stunting your own growth. I wanted to know I was brave enough to challenge other guys and to see how I felt about winning and losing. Some guys roll around gently together — grunting and straining as they exchange holds.

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